Most brilliant women don’t see their own brilliance and are “playing small” and they know it: not speaking up, doubting themselves, seeing themselves as “not yet ready” to launch the big idea, the organization, to put themselves at the table. The 10 Rules, and the other work I do with women leaders are about learning how to quiet self-doubt, clarify purpose, and become comfortable with taking bold action in the workplace and in the world. That is what I teach, and I love to teach it because I’m still learning it myself.
We kicked off our series with Rule #6: Question the voice that says “I’m not ready yet.” and now ready to share….
RULE #8: Filter advice. Most brilliant women are humble and open to guidance. We want to gather feedback and advice. Fine, but recognize that some people won’t understand what you are up to (often because you are saying something new and ahead of your time). Some people will find you to be not their cup of tea. Some will feel threatened. Some people will want to do with your idea only what is interesting or helpful to them. So interpret feedback carefully. Test advice and evaluate the results, rather than following it wholesale.
• In the future, I’ll incorporate guidance that . . .(Examples: feels right in my gut, resonates with me personally, feels like it was offered in a spirit of support)
• I’ll opt out of using guidance that . . .(Examples: feels like it is trying to squash me or shut me down, comes from someone who doesn’t seem to get me or my work, scares the hell out of the dreamer in me)
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Tara Sophia Mohr is a writer, teacher and coach who helps women play a bigger game in their lives and their work. Tara is the creator of the Playing Big women’s leadership program and the author of the free 10 Rules for Brilliant Women Workbook. Her work has been featured on the Today Show, Whole Living, ForbesWoman, More Magazine, and in many other publications.